can we get nightvision for the apartment?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
