just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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