Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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