god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
