She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He shit in the fireplace
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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