how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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