tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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