no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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