It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
