My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I intend to get homeless drunk
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
