I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
