Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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