I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
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I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why are your pants in the freezer?