How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I get a little bitchy. We all know that