Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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  (202): i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left. http://tfl.nu/4tq4
  Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (2613)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"

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  (201): You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here" http://tfl.nu/hp38
  Replies (18) Good night (7061) Bad night (743)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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  (570): I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons... http://tfl.nu/4olw
  Replies (10) Good night (3765) Bad night (1227)
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  (408): View more from California

  They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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  (408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp
  Replies (21) Good night (8080) Bad night (1402)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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  (519): I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex. http://tfl.nu/m5l5
  Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (3751)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.

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  (401): All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it. http://tfl.nu/0ldz
  Replies (19) Good night (1366) Bad night (3650)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?

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  (610): Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar? http://tfl.nu/upld
  Replies (9) Good night (1015) Bad night (2982)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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  (217): Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up http://tfl.nu/7l2l
  Replies (4) Good night (1821) Bad night (878)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

  (1+44): View more from

  Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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  (+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1710) Bad night (557)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever

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  (715): All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever http://tfl.nu/1qjr
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (1047)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.

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  (802): This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again. http://tfl.nu/ts2y
  Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (604)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part

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  (330): In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part http://tfl.nu/09fb
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (365)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.

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  (315): He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over. http://tfl.nu/jd2f
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (718)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

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  (724): Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling http://tfl.nu/ere5
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (259)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.

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  (773): No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0utw
  Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (167)

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