Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  What a fucking waste of an outfit

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  (415): What a fucking waste of an outfit http://tfl.nu/q0u1
  Replies (8) Good night (616) Bad night (1289)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2966) Bad night (732)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals

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  (517): new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals http://tfl.nu/6pha
  Replies (61) Good night (5613) Bad night (1236)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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  (732): I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower http://tfl.nu/n59j
  Replies (43) Good night (1408) Bad night (19981)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.

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  (507): Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES. http://tfl.nu/ydba
  Replies (11) Good night (5545) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.

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  (845): I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again. http://tfl.nu/ku6h
  Replies (15) Good night (3407) Bad night (951)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

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  (203): So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?" http://tfl.nu/t9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (5408) Bad night (1730)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?

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  (+61): i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/33o5
  Replies (7) Good night (2921) Bad night (1132)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.

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  (904): pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking. http://tfl.nu/eg7z
  Replies (3) Good night (2271) Bad night (763)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (608)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.

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  (260): Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed. http://tfl.nu/ajvn
  Replies (5) Good night (2416) Bad night (848)
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  (408): View more from California

  i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track

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  (408): i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track http://tfl.nu/rp6g
  Replies (8) Good night (761) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

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  (903): Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned. http://tfl.nu/e67l
  Replies (9) Good night (1538) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.

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  (208): One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody. http://tfl.nu/x1xc
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.

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  (540): This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/cdhc
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (594)

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