Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
