So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
