my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Panties = found
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