Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
