Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize