the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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