so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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