Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
