apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
