I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
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Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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