when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
