We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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