I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize