how can u be prego again
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
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after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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