I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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