i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize