And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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