i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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