If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wear drunk well.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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