she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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