I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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