TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
