So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
