Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
