there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Everyone says I win the strip club
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
