Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
