i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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