He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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