and my herpes radar will keep us safe
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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