Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
