Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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