they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize