I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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