Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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