peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
