Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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