Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
