Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
