Having a random hookup so left but love u
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
