Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
