last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
dude. I can hear the air.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
