she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
