I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
