i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
