what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
