If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
