May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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